sd's Journal

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sd's Journal

Below are the 6 most recent journal entries.



	2002.11.24 02.09 i love u God... "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." ~ Lamentations 3:23 ~ Thank you God that i was able to wake up this morning. Every morning when i feel my presnece in this world, i feel your love and i feel your grace. God, i know my life on earth is short compare to the life i'll be living in the eternal heaven. and i dunno how long i'll be living here. But i'm not afraid of death anymore, cuz u r my life, my hope, and my joy... No one on earth have ever touched my heart like u did... No one on earth have loved me to death... once again, i realized dat my life on earth is short...very short. i'm sorry dat i have wasted the times and chances u have given me... i wasnt able to do my best... God,i need ur help... without u i can't do anything.. but within u i can do everything. Dear God, there is nothing i can give u, when i think about the things u done for me... but i pray dat u can help me to live my best with the life u've given me... so dat my life can be something dat pleases in ur eyes. thank u God..ur love is new every morning... i love u God.. in Jesus name i pray, Amen (prayer of sd, 11/24/02) Mood: peaceful



	2002.11.22 01.42 Jack...my bro in Christ... again...i was reading ppl's journal...and it lead me to this guy's journal. His name is Jack Chen.. (http://www.xanga.com/home.asp?user=yell0wr0me0&tab=weblogs&fid=&nextdate=8%2F22%2F2002+1%3A23%3A17+PM&direction=p&bflag =) 20 years old Chineese guy...good Christian...i never met him in my life...but i feel like we have known each other from before. i visited virginia 2years ago..maybe..maybe..i saw u or something.. Jack..he died last week Nov. 16 2002, by car accident...just like Raymond...i read all his journals...and could see wut nice guy he is and how much he is loved by his friends. tears came out from my eyes..when i read things his friends wrote in their xanga site for his rememberance...jack, i pray dat God may bless ur family with peacefulness, and i know dat is the thing dat u want most for ur family now... death... i never thought death makes us feel this sad...even a complete strangers death is very sad to me...how would i feel if i loose my loved ones...but we have a hope of eternal life in heaven..i'm really happy dat Jack is Christian. I belive his face were so peaceful when he have left this wolrd..so peaceful dat ppl who saw his face have seen a face of angel in him. We all die one day, and death comes suddenly as we were born on this earth. Have you ever wondered y we r living? If u don't know the answer to this question, then u r living a useless life..cuz no matter how hard u live, we all will die someday. Things with structure will be gone and vanish someday. Let's say that ur dream is to be a teacher at school, wut use is to teach kids and let them be a great ppl, when everyone will die one day? wut use is a doctor to extend one's life, when we all know that we will die one day? for his/her family member? his/her family member will die too, wut use is good happy memories when we all gonna die. U gotta know y we exist and y we live, and y we die. If u dunno u better contact me as soon as possible, becuz it could be u next who is gonna die by sudden accident today or tomorrow. (my email add- giapanta@hotmail.com) don't miss ur chance to find out about wut life is...there is nothing ur gonna lose for asking me..but there is so much thing dat ur gonna lose for not asking me y we live. remember u only got one shot, do not miss ur chance to blow. i really wanna reach every one of u personally, but i cannot do dat. So whoever reading my journal by some kinda incident, don't think that its a coincident for u to read my journal. it might be the first and the last chance God have given u to find out answer before things get too late...e-mail me..(giapanta@hotmail.com) Mood: touched



	2002.11.19 09.01 SuNglAsSes... ~0-0~ yay!! i'm sooo happy dat my psychology class got canceled dis morning!!yahoo~!!^^; newayz i was on my way home..walking as usual. Then this guy came from the other side walking toward me. He was wearing a red cap, huge~ sunglasses, and skinny as the guy in the movie "The New Guy"...well he said "how u doing?"..and now i'm used to this Orange County custom to say hi to the passenger, so i said "hi". He said to me "hey nice sunglasses u have~ where did u get it?" me-"oh...", he said "i'm gonna get pair of sunglasses for my mom. and i wanna get the one like urs, where did u get it?" me- "uh u kno.." him- "they r pretty good~" me- "oh,yeah..thanx^^" and then he left... it was a weirdest conversation i have ever had in my life..maybe it was him who was weird, or maybe he has power to see things not many ppl can see... cuz i wasn't wearing any sunglasses nor glasses..... Mood: weird



	2002.11.19 00.01 nO sTaNdaRd in tHis wOrlD... wussup homie~!!btw i didnt know wut "homie" means till today but i was using it newayz..i didnt know it means friend. So when my UCI friend, Phil, told me "wussup homie"...i thought he was trying to make fun of me or something...cuz i thought he meant by "u r at home going to college next block, me i'm going to UCI. Since u stay at home i'll call u Homie"...^^; but really this is wut i thought he meant...well i didnt say nething cuz i wasnt sure wut it really meant, but newayz now i know it means friend...gotta learn slang here. if u wanna learn more about slang, one of my friend has the list of slang in his Live Journal. see my friend list. so far i only have added 3 ppl on my list...don't ask me y..cuz it makes me feel miserable...yeah...yo have no amigos..^^; Well dats not the main thing i wanna talk about on my sd show today. recently i have been reading somebody's xanga site(its like live journal). She is from our church and she goes to UC Berkley now. On her journal site i found her sis's xanga site, which was pretty intersting cuz i know her personally and see her every saturday and sunday, and from her xanga site i found other girl's xanga site...i also know this girl cuz i see her every saturday and sunday at church too. Newayz these dayz i have been reading other ppl's journal rather than writing my own. It was intersting and i thought they can inspire me somehow. As i read this girl's journal and other ppl's journal i saw them using words such as "fuck", "shit"...the words which i was tought is very bad when i was in Japan. I'm not saying they r bad ppl or anything, although it was shocking to me at first(especially innocent guy like me), i soon figured out that these words have become their culture and does not mean samething as they use to. Well i still dont like seeing these words...cuz i'm likely to look down at those ppl who use these words...But newayz its a normal thing to use those words for teenagers today. These use of f-words, s-words, and wutever, reminded me of the E.M(english minitstry) bible study at my church last friday. We talked about sins. We human can never judge or tell a person is guilty or not cuz we don't have a standard of sins. We do have laws and standards but it varies in time to time and place to place...so which means we dont have standards..confusing huh?^^; for example it is natural things to Eskimo ppl to let their wife sleep with their friend when their friend was invited to their house (did u know dat?)...u know its cold...gotta warm up ur friend's body^^;..for Eskimo ppl if u don't do this ur a weirdo...but wut if someone do this kinda thing in Korea or America? Of course not a right thing to do...how sad.i'll never wanna live with Eskimo ppl when i get to marry my beautiful wife..but i might wanna live with them if i am single...jkjkjkjk!!hey jk!^^ Okee... another example is dat at some country ppl eat human flesh and its their culture to do so. but if u eat human being in U.S.A and many other countries...ur gonna get executed. (there was a actual case dat this guy ate human flesh and kept its meat in the refrigeator, but caught by police got executed) The reason y many ppl don't belive in God is because they think they r not guilty, has no sin in them. Ofcourse many ppl cant find sin in them cuz they dont really know wut sin is, in this world with no standards...wut about u? u think u r sinner? if u r christian and if u have never really find out y u r sinner, than u gotta make sure u r saved through Christ. Cuz there is no need for Doctor to exist if there r no illness found in people, like wise there is no need for u to accept Christ if u have no sin. But bible says we all have sinned(read Romans 3:23) We r born with sin since Adam and Eve, and God cannot exist with sin cuz he is Holy, as oil cannot be mixed with water, and as darkness cannot co-exist with light. Only way to be with God is to know dat ur sinner and accept Christ as savior, who have died for our sins and rose again from the dead so he can now be with us with our sins forgiven, sending Holy Spirit to us. Best thing dat human can ever do in their life is not having power over something nor acheiving higher education for high quality life..they r all rabbish...but the best thing they can do is to accept God and to be with Him once again. Y work for at the place where they pay $10 per hour, when there is a place u can get $10000 per hour? its like dat. do not try to decorate ur life and spent too much time on little tings on this earth just for ur self or for ur own enjoyment cuz they r like a $10 u make in hour, a money which u gonna spend soon and disapear soon. Work for God while u have this great offer with limited time, u'll recieve a great award which u cannot spend all, even with the eternal time..the enternal award. "U only got one shot do not miss ur chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a life time..." Mood: happy



	2002.11.15 00.47 thank u God...=) today i was suffering with my severe soar throat...still am but little different from this morning.. today is one of my favorite day thursday..choir day. i tried my best to sing, but my throat didn't let me do so. instead i moved my hands and arms around imagining dat i'm a world's famous conductor..boy~ it was funny^^ newayz, i had a bad time not being able to sing during choir practice..i realized how much i love to sing and how important it is for me. also, i was able to thank God for letting me have a voice to sing, eyes to see, and that all parts of my body is working fine. most of the times when we face difficulties, we r likely to think them negatively..it's like ur looking at a cup of water and saying its "half-empty" instead of saying its "half-full". i like to think things positively, and i try my best to do so. when i think things positively i find lotta things to thank God, in fact i realized dat my cup is not half-full but its overflowing with God's grace and blessings. pray God to let him open ur eyes and see how much u r loved and blessed by him. do not let ur water wasted into sink, but let them pour into dry lands... Mood: peaceful



	2002.11.13 21.53 "welcome to sd show" bitcxxs and gentlemen, it's showtime!! hurry hurry, step right up introducing the star of our show..his name is... sd!! u wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world right now, so without further ado, i bring to u sd show... u better not miss this cuz u only got one shot, do not miss ur chance to blow this opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo...(inspired(?) by eminem) wussup guyz...i mean, i guess no one is reading my journal at this time...cuz it's my first Live Journal!!! yahoo!!^^; first of all i would like to thank chee and her lil bro sean..or was he scean...wutever, for helping me out to have this opportunity to reveal my private life to the public. well i didn't care about having my own live journal or dead journal but after i found out that not anyone can creat their jounal...it made me to crave it soooo much...deng~ dunno who came up with this kinda idea but i see a good business strategy here...its all about psychology huh... today during english 100, mr. payne warned us that if anyone have not turned in their assignment, or got low grades on two or more assignments we better drop this class out by nov. 22nd, other wise he have to give us F on our grades...i had couple essays dat i think i didnt do well on, so i was so pissed off...after class i went to see mr. payne to see whether i should drop this course or not...and he said..."sd, ur doing absolutely fine there is no need for u to worry about getting F on this class.." me-"oh really? coo", mr. payne "yeah ur right on the C line" ....--; C!!! deng~ not bad but not good at all!!! i can't get C on my english!! deng~ i wish i could drop this course and start this class over again...but since this course is 4 units class and my college status is non-residence...i paid $165 x 4 which is $660...well other ppl who paid $44 for this class won't mind dropping it...but me...paying 15 times more money than they did, i can't drop it...well i talk like i paid for it but really its my parents who paid for it...but still man~ i gotta get through this~ i gotta revise some essays to raise my grade and gotta do good on my research paper...i gotta concentrate no time to waste....haha which i already did i wasted my time writing this journal... oh well, i can make it through the rain i can stand up once again...not on my own but with God's help of course...dats the part i wanna change in mc's song "through the rain"...human wut a weak being they r...no human on earth can be independent, cuz we r made to be dependent being. Only God alone is trully independent, so if u think ur smart, if u think u don't need any body to wipe ur azz, xxxx dat(oops gotta watch my language here^^;)...i mean u better re-think about ur life...this world is nothing if u divide it by the eternal world u r going to live. so be wise don't live up for the thing dat will fade away someday...if u r saved through Christ, live ur life for the God who gives u eternal blessing at ur eternal world. don't miss ur opportunity cuz u only got one shot...(by sd) Mood: sick